Eating Disorder Counselling
In my extensive experience, eating disorders are coping strategies and not the real issue. They are merely a sign that "something isn't quite right". The eating behaviour, which is entirely driven by the unconscious mind, is a sign post to "pay attention to something". The underlying issues vary widely. Oftentimes, eating disorder behaviour is also a way to release stress and distract from the true issue(s). Eating disorders have nothing to do with greediness and/or lack of control. On the contrary, most eating disordered clients display a huge amount of self-control.
The only way to move forward is to cultivate self-love and acceptance of the current situation, no matter how or why a person has arrived here. This is very hard or (close to) impossible for most eating disordered clients. Resistance to acceptance is the reason that we stay stuck, because we confuse acceptance with resignation. Resignation means giving up and losing hope. Acceptance means temporarily accepting the situation with empathy for all the pain we have experienced, but knowing that we will not be in this situation for the rest of our lives. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a highly effective tool to cultivate self-love and self-acceptance. The EFT set-up statement that we use encourages us to "fully and completely love and accept" ourselves with kindness and compassion. Right here and now, not once we've reached the ideal weight or rid ourselves of the unwanted food behaviour.
Dr. David Hamilton's work on self-love explains this Acceptance Paradox: "... acceptance actually causes spontaneous change... The acceptance paradox is that once acceptance arrives, whatever you accept begins to change. Naturally. Complete acceptance produces spontaneous change. It often leads to a spontaneous desire to be healthy or to engage in behaviour that makes you happier."
This Is Why You Don't Make Healthy Choices
Many people feel that to keep their healthy habits consistent, they need to develop a strong sense of self-criticism — that inner voice telling/chastising them whenever they eat a sugary treat or skip a workout. But a new study suggests that the best way to make healthy choices is to practice self-love. Researchers conducted a meta-analysis of 15 studies to determine the role self-compassion plays in making healthy choices, including those involving eating decisions, exercise, sleep and stress management. They found that self-compassion was associated with healthier choices in all 15 studies. If you want to lose weight, counting calories and beating yourself up for not rigidly sticking to a plan isn't the best way to get results. The same goes for getting in shape, or quitting a bad habit. Allowing yourself some room for mistakes improves your self-worth, which can help you bounce back if you have a bad day. So if you want to be healthy, start loving yourself! Not only is it a good idea that probably won't hurt you, but science backs it up!
Learn to Choose Getting Better over Feeling Better
There’s a difference between feeling better and getting better. Feeling better is like the tub of ice cream you consume because you are depressed. Or the wine you drink too much of because you want to numb yourself. Or the bad-for-you guy you don’t break up with because you like the attention and you find the unknown scarier. Getting better is making a decision that is hard or painful but will improve your life in the long term. Getting better is personal growth and resilience. Feeling better is escape and avoidance. Every time you make the harder choice that’s more aligned with your life goals and the person you want to be, the better your life gets.
My Nutritional Therapy studies qualify me to give nutritional advice if and when needed. I specialize in all the overeating disorders, including bulimia. My firm belief is that "food is how we take care of ourselves". I am particularly interested in the emotional relationship we have with food, e.g. triggers to overeating and obstacles to making healthy food choices. I have always been interested in healthy lifestyle choices and have overcome my own food obsessions. I bring a wealth of personal experience and passion to my professional work.
The only way to move forward is to cultivate self-love and acceptance of the current situation, no matter how or why a person has arrived here. This is very hard or (close to) impossible for most eating disordered clients. Resistance to acceptance is the reason that we stay stuck, because we confuse acceptance with resignation. Resignation means giving up and losing hope. Acceptance means temporarily accepting the situation with empathy for all the pain we have experienced, but knowing that we will not be in this situation for the rest of our lives. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a highly effective tool to cultivate self-love and self-acceptance. The EFT set-up statement that we use encourages us to "fully and completely love and accept" ourselves with kindness and compassion. Right here and now, not once we've reached the ideal weight or rid ourselves of the unwanted food behaviour.
Dr. David Hamilton's work on self-love explains this Acceptance Paradox: "... acceptance actually causes spontaneous change... The acceptance paradox is that once acceptance arrives, whatever you accept begins to change. Naturally. Complete acceptance produces spontaneous change. It often leads to a spontaneous desire to be healthy or to engage in behaviour that makes you happier."
"You are not your ED and you are not your weight."
This Is Why You Don't Make Healthy Choices
Many people feel that to keep their healthy habits consistent, they need to develop a strong sense of self-criticism — that inner voice telling/chastising them whenever they eat a sugary treat or skip a workout. But a new study suggests that the best way to make healthy choices is to practice self-love. Researchers conducted a meta-analysis of 15 studies to determine the role self-compassion plays in making healthy choices, including those involving eating decisions, exercise, sleep and stress management. They found that self-compassion was associated with healthier choices in all 15 studies. If you want to lose weight, counting calories and beating yourself up for not rigidly sticking to a plan isn't the best way to get results. The same goes for getting in shape, or quitting a bad habit. Allowing yourself some room for mistakes improves your self-worth, which can help you bounce back if you have a bad day. So if you want to be healthy, start loving yourself! Not only is it a good idea that probably won't hurt you, but science backs it up!
Learn to Choose Getting Better over Feeling Better
There’s a difference between feeling better and getting better. Feeling better is like the tub of ice cream you consume because you are depressed. Or the wine you drink too much of because you want to numb yourself. Or the bad-for-you guy you don’t break up with because you like the attention and you find the unknown scarier. Getting better is making a decision that is hard or painful but will improve your life in the long term. Getting better is personal growth and resilience. Feeling better is escape and avoidance. Every time you make the harder choice that’s more aligned with your life goals and the person you want to be, the better your life gets.
My Nutritional Therapy studies qualify me to give nutritional advice if and when needed. I specialize in all the overeating disorders, including bulimia. My firm belief is that "food is how we take care of ourselves". I am particularly interested in the emotional relationship we have with food, e.g. triggers to overeating and obstacles to making healthy food choices. I have always been interested in healthy lifestyle choices and have overcome my own food obsessions. I bring a wealth of personal experience and passion to my professional work.
